“Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands…” Isaiah 49:16a (ESV)
A few years ago, while on an eleven month long mission trip, I was walking a field in the Philippines. It was a makeshift soccer – or, should I say, fútbol – field and my squad was clearing out rocks and debris that would make it difficult for the kids at the children’s home to play. A squadmate of mine and I were having a conversation. She was asking a little bit about my life – my family, my childhood, siblings, parents, pets, college, work – basically all of the normal conversation topics that might come up after four months of traveling the world with the same 60+ plus people.
I remember voicing something to her in that conversation that I’d never really voiced before. Something that surprised me as I said it but was undeniably true once I heard it.
Even though I had experienced a chaotic childhood and had continued to care for an unpredictable mother until her suicide the year before, I had never hit the proverbial “rock bottom.” There had never been a time when I had felt completely helpless with nowhere to go. I had managed to keep from using destructive things like drugs, alcohol and sex to numb pain or escape the chaos or calm the confusion. And I had never even entertained the thought of ending my life.
My friend asked me why I thought I’d managed to handle things so well. And, as we walked a few more paces in silence, stooped over so we could pick up the rocks and put them in our buckets to clear them from the field, a quiet but confident thought stirred in my soul.
Because of the Lord.
Because He has always been my safety net.
It was a sweet, sweet revelation and one that I was humbled to admit. My God had never left me. He had never forsaken me. He had always been there to catch me.
Ironically, in the three years that would immediately follow my return from that mission trip, I would finally find myself in the deep, dark places of depression. And the memory of that conversation would fade away leaving me to feel completely alone, fully helpless and not at all safe.
But, just as the Lord was my safety net through childhood and early adulthood, so was He three years later and still on through today. My feelings don’t change Truth; they just may make it harder to believe. [pullquote width=”300″ float=”left”]My feelings don’t change Truth; they just may make it harder to believe.[/pullquote]
Friend, what are you struggling to believe today?
If it is that God is for you and not against you. If it is that He has a plan for you, one to prosper and not to harm you. If it is that He will never leave you or forsake you. If it is that God has not forgotten you. …then let go and fall safely in to the waiting arms of God.
He is there.
And He will catch you.
I am thrilled to be featured in Sweet to the Soul’s #GodsMasterpiece series today! Go on over there and check out all the great posts!