#write31days: just me

I sense that you restrain yourself a lot, because there is so much hidden emotional under current. Yes, we can feel it ; ) I know that it’s hard to tap into those feelings all the way sometimes as you may feel like they will suck you under and you will drown. But you won’t. Don’t be afraid to go there, a little deeper.

This was part of a comment that a friend and reader of my blog left on my post from yesterday. She’s a consistent source of encouragement for me here, on my little space of the internet, but she can also challenge me. Just as she did with that comment.

The truth is that I do restrain a bit. Yes, for the reasons she mentions, but also because I’m just not convinced that sharing those feelings and stories and other things about my life and experiences is of any use, interest or encouragement to anyone else. I mean, what’s the point of it? I can see a point if I am able to tie the stories, feelings, etc. in to some nugget of truth or wisdom but…when I can’t?…what does the reader walk away with (besides learning something about me)?

I guess I’d just like for what I write to matter; to make a difference or impact someone’s life other than my own. I suppose that’s what every (hopeful) writer wants. And I can’t see how the writing that I’ve been doing lately does any of those things. Sure, I share something about myself, but I don’t lead the reader anywhere. There’s no take away. It’s just information.

I do wonder, sometimes, if maybe I’m just in a certain season of my writing. One that is a training ground for the kind of writing I hope to do one day. In fact, if I’m being honest, I hope that it’s a season and that as I become more faithful in the writing, I will begin to see it transform into something more than just about me.

Until then, it seems that “me” is all I have to share with y’all. Hope that’s ok.




One thought on “#write31days: just me

  1. In one of my writing classes I read a book by someone I can’t recall at the moment, but the point they were trying to make was that if you try to keep yourself out of your writing it will be flat and useless. And sometimes you HAVE to go through writing about the things we really hope to avoid writing about because until we get them out of the way they will always be our stumbling block. If it’s too painful to do publically, then we have to at least write that blog to ourselves! It’s kind of like a clog in the water pipe. When I was taking a poetry class I found that I had to write the poem about losing my mother before I could write anything else. It wasn’t a masterpiece but it was damming up the flow of other ideas. So sometimes what you learn along the way is that the very things we avoid writing about are the ones that other people connect most with. I have also learned that my writing will ALWAYS be tinged with that loss, even if others don’t know it, but it’s part of me so it will be a part of any creative expression that taps into my soul. We can’t always be the best judge of the value of the content sometimes, but we also can’t under-estimate the power of the Holy Spirit to use those words to reach another’s soul. Nor the value in reaching the one. Funny isn’t it, how we think that we should just be able to sit down and write flowing, meaningful prose! And yet if we were learning to do anything else we would have to practice, practice, practice. Normally we do this practice in private for a long time. But because of your particular challenge what you are doing is practicing in public. Eek! Yeah, no pressure there! Lol! So of course some days it won’t be anything special. And that’s ok. I kind of feel like the person in the other room listening to someone leadning to play an instrument. Going over the same tuneless exercises, over and over, making mistakes, grumbling, doing it again. The first thing they will tell you in a writing class is that you need to see this as your job and make yourself do it everyday. It will be painful, it will be frustrating, but like any other skill if you want to get to a place of ease in the process, you have to practice, practice practice! And then one day, something magical happens and all the mechanics fall into place without thinking, allowing your soul to pour through onto the page, or out through your fingers onto the strings of the instrument, the ink onto the page.


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